Social self care

Hi guys,

Todays post in the self care series is social care, if you missed yesterday's post on Emotional self care you can catch it here, if you would like to start at the beginning of the series here's The basics of self care.

So why is social self care important?

I don't know about anybody else but i have moments, sometimes days where i just want to hide in a cave and not come out. I don't want to see anyone, talk to anyone or be near anyone, i just want leaving alone. However there is then a real danger of becoming and feeling isolated, alone, lonely. As humans were sociable creatures, been isolated can make us unhappy, depressed and anxious.

Been chronically ill can make been sociable difficult. Pain can make us quiet and withdrawn, anxiety can leave us afraid of social interaction and fatigue can leave us not having the energy. That's all before we even get to the issue of having to cancel plans at the last minute due to flare ups / relapses  / down days. Luckily there are ways around this.

First of all having a small group of friends or even one friend that understands or at least tries to understand and doesn't get upset when you cancel is priceless. Hold onto that friend like they're a tub of  vegan ben and Jerry's and never let them go!

If you cant make big social events like parties (or they're too much) organise small events at a place where you know you will be comfortable and can manage if your condition worsens while your there. Invite those friends that are like gold and do something easy that can be quickly changed if needs be.

My favourite thing to do is invite one or two friends over to my flat and let them pick a movie or a DVD or netflix and get a takeaway in. minimum spoons used, no cooking or long conversations are needed and if i start to feel unwell as the night goes on i can lay down on my sofa, take meds etc... whatever i need to do. The upside is i get to see my friends and feel sociable, the downside is that they are having to come to me all the time.

If having people over isn't an option or you don't have any of those ben and Jerry's friends another option could be support groups. I go to a local fibromyalgia support group when i can and have met some lovely people who all understand , the comfort of shared experience is not to be underestimated. Been around people that have literally been there, done that and got the awareness t-shirt can be so supportive and encouraging. There are community support groups all over and a quick google search can normally find them. Failing that if there are any charities for your condition(s) they usually have a database of support groups. If there isn't one in your area why don't you start one?

Now if leaving the house isn't an option there's social media. There are lots of ways you can be social online. Twitter has a chat run by the lovely Tania Jayne (@whentaniatalks)  under @spooniespeak at 7pm every friday (GMT). She also has a blog (http://www.whentaniatalks.com/) and you can find lots of people to relate to using the #spoonie, #spoonieproblems, #spooniecult or hashtags for your condition(s). There are even spoonie netflix parties where spoonies arrange to watch the same thing over twitter and then comment on it together @spooniecult runs these and they are normally at 7:30pm (EST).

On facebook there are the invisible illness support groups, spoonie support line (to exchange numbers), spoonie support and then various support groups for different conditions.

I'm not very good on snapchat as i have not had it long so i don't know if there is any support there.

One things important, you don't have to be alone. If you feel like socialising there is someone out there for you to talk to, been able to talk to someone and knowing your not alone helps ease the isolation that can come with been chronically ill. It can also give you some awesome friends to help you through the tough times.

Again thanks for reading, feel free to check back tomorrow for the last in the series, Spiritual self care.

Have I missed anything? Do you know of other support groups, twitter chats or support that i've missed? Let me know in the comments.

Laura:)